Monday, 12 March 2018

Abia man who wed two women on same day causes stir

Abia man who wed two women on same day causes stir

The news of a man, Ejindu Daniel Kalu, who married two women on the same day in Abriba, Abia State, has inundated social media, as the wedding pictures went viral. It happened penultimate Saturday in Abriba main town, in Ohafia Local Government Area. Witnesses said the wedding took place in front of the groom’s father’s house in Amangwu-Amogudu, Abiriba,  and not in a church as widely spread on Facebook. Also, it was discovered, that no pastor officiated.

When Daily Trust arrived at the home of Ejindu Daniel Kalu, he presented cola nut, as tradition demands and several traditional rites were observed in the Igbo language before breaking the cola. He demanded that the interaction be conducted in Igbo for clarity and understanding of everyone present.

Ejindu said he actually married the two ladies penultimate Saturday, and that he was aware that the incident would generate some curiosity and was prepared for the kind of publicity it generated. He would not give details until he was presented the traditional gift his people give to newly married couples. He introduced himself as a businessman who deals in provisions and building materials in Abiriba and Aba. He owns a shop at Orie Akwa, Abiriba, a market which is a few yards from his father’s shop.

“I know people would come to see me because what I did is not common, and decided that anyone who comes here must give me a present as tradition requires. It’s not as if I am hungry, this is my father’s house but I renovated it and I have my own house,” he said, but refused to speak further.

At the Orie Akwa Market, where 80-year-old Pa Daniel Kalu, Ejindu’s father, has a shop. He told Daily Trust that the double wedding was strange to them, as it is not their tradition.

“Both of them have children for him. One has four children and the other three. When he decided to formally marry, he felt it would be unfair to marry one and leave the other so the best was to marry the two together on the same day. The ceremony was actually in front of my house, not in a church. The identical wedding attire was entirely the idea of the two wives.”

Pa Kalu said before the ceremony, Ejindu went to the parents of the two women to conduct the traditional marriage rites. Traditionally, after that, he had the right to conduct the ceremony in any chosen manner. He named the women Ebere and Oyidiya. Both are from neighboring villages of Amanta and Amaba, all in Abiriba.

Pa Obidike Nwakanma, an elder of the community, also said  he had never seen or heard of something  like that. “Premarital relationship was a taboo, let alone marrying two women together on the same day. I will not encourage my children to do such a thing, that is not in line with Christian or traditional beliefs,” he said. 

A titled man from Abiriba and the state Commissioner for Information, Chief John Okiyi Kalu, also a native of Abiriba, said, “Since I am also from the great ancient kingdom of Abiriba, it behooves on me to make certain clarifications with regards to the marriage in order not to allow the gullible to be misled. The man involved in the marriage story had extra-marital relationship with the two women at different times that led to each of them having children for him outside wedlock. Each had at least three kids for him before the much-publicised wedding, and at some point he decided to bring them home to live with him. They have been living together for at least three years. You cannot validly live with someone’s daughter in Abiriba without paying her bride price and the young man followed the tradition and paid the bride price of the women, and formally brought them home with their children.”

“I know that according to our cultural practices, it is possible for the age group or other traditionally recognized institutions to conduct a “white wedding”  without necessarily involving the church. Even where churches are involved in “white” weddings involving a woman who already has children for a man or is confirmed pregnant, the standard role of the officiating priest is to pray and bless only. For the avoidance of doubt, that wedding was not a classic case of taking two maidens to the altar. The man was already living with them and their children before deciding to formalize the arrangement. The man could have decided to perform the marriage rites for each of the women one week apart and it won’t make news. But he chose to perform the rites same day, probably as a show of equal love for them. He has not done anything different from those who marry two or more women at different times or those who impregnate women and marry them later.”

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